draculalite | IC Contact

her idea of kinky involved a tazer. i'm going back tonight.

I'm sorry I kept calling you a pussy... but to be fair, you were being a pussy.

Alright, I'll bite. [You know, just not in front of the whole network.] The money sounds good and I have some debts to pay. But with pay like that there's obviously a catch, right? What is it?

[Hello Yosuke. Raphael calls you back.]

There is a catch. I believe many people would perhaps find the work... distasteful.

['Sup? He's got free time, so you caught him!]

I'm not going to kill anyone.

No, you're not.

Are you aware of the... condition, affecting my daughter and myself?

Uh. No. We've never met.

[Duh, dude.]

But if it's contagious you probably want someone else. I just got out of the hospital like a week ago so who knows if we'd make each other sick, right?

We have not. However, I have achieved some infamy in this city and perhaps you were aware of me there.

It is not contagious unless we will it to be, and we do not.

The most understandable term I hear used would be "vampire."

[Hang on a sec, he's busy spluttering here.]

What?! Not more of you! This place must be a magnet for bloodsuckers!

[Bet you wanna hire him now, huh?]

Dude, you can't kill me either. It's definitely not worth that! A-and I don't need any more creepy sex dreams, alright? It's really disturbing!

[Good thing he was fully expecting this kind of idiocy.]

If you can quiet your rodent hindbrain for a few seconds, please consider-- why would I be offering to pay someone to have me kill them?

[What the hell is a hindbrain? And RUDE. But he does quiet down for a second at least. Sorry, but he's had some pretty unpleasant experiences with vampires.]

[And yet...he's trying to figure out how to come to terms with them. So hold on for a sec while he thinks it over.]

[A long sec.]

[Maybe awkwardly long.]

[Okay...okay, maybe it's not that bad.]

...A hundred bucks an hour, right? For...you're going to...uh. Do that thing. That vampires do. To me?

One hundred dollars an hour. I am looking for a blood donor, yes. For myself and my daughter.

It isn't necessary for either of us to "do that thing" to you. There are machines for that purpose.

Wait, seriously? No actual neck sucking involved?

[...]

Is type A okay?

[He laughs, a bit heartlessly.] I would much rather not suck on the neck of a man, if it's all the same to you.

Type does not matter. We are far more concerned with freshness.

Yeah, no kidding. You can see why it's weird, right? Anyway I shower twice a day so you don't have to worry about that.

Uh. But are there side effects? I've never...given blood...before. On purpose.

Rest easy. I have no plans to bite your neck.

It will be no worse than it would for a medical blood donation. We hardly even need to take so much. It is not our sustenance, merely a necessary supplement to our ordinary diets.

...Wait, what else do you eat?

[Curious now. It's an improvement. Also shut up his neck it velvety soft and totally luscious, dude. That's what the scrubby bits in the body wash are for you know.]

[As though Yosuke is the stupidest person in the universe:]

Food?

[He gets that a lot.]

[And totally resents it every time.]

That's not how it works in the movies.

Well, we are not in movies, are we?

I said that "vampire" was the most easily applicable term, did I not?

...I guess I've met someone else who was a different kind, too.

[Sigh.]

Look, it's nothing personal but if this happens I need some kind of promise of privacy. I'm not okay with people knowing about it.

As have I. It would seem the Sorels are a different case.

Our feeding habits are none of the business of the public at large. We will treat it with the utmost discretion.

['Nother pause. Give him a sec here, 'cause this is weird. But the money sure is good, and a guy can only eat so much instant ramen.]

I'm on some pain meds. If I let my dose run out before the...donation...uh, is that good enough?

Yes.

Needless to say, should any issues arise, the arrangement can be ended by either of us at any time.

Yeah, Junes always had that clause too.

Uh...there's one more thing. I'd probably need to lie down for a while after. Would that be a problem?

No. That is why I included the hourly stipulation. We will provide a place for you to recover. [In the creepy-ass old abandoned church they live in.]

[Swell.]

[...]

Okay.

[A long pause.]

Would you prefer to meet with my daughter and myself before agreeing?

I've met her.

...Uh, but sure. If you need to...I don't know. Um. Interview.

[...Snort. Wait, that was pretty funny, actually. Get it?]

Uh. It takes a while to get ready, so it would have to be in a few hours. Or another day.

There is no hurry.

[...Sorry Yosuke, he doesn't get it.]

Here is our address. We would prefer afternoon callers, should you decide to come look.

Great. I didn't feel like getting up early anyway.

ARE YOU BONING THE HULK?

INQUIRING MINDS WANT TO KNOW.

RESPOND IMMEDIATELY TO AVOID HOURLY UPDATES OF VANILLA ICE LYRICS FOR THE NEXT TWO MONTHS.

[* PING! * GOES YOUR INBOX. A wild attachment appears!]

[WHAT DO YOU DO?

> Y (accept) / N (reject) / PIE (do you want to know more?) ]

[[OOC: This all goes with The OOC notif and this post, so.]]

IC Contact

[Text] | NV Virus | Yesterday

[Viral NV Text] 30 January

Voicemail!

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Anonymous Text on October 1st

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